OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize