Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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