You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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