I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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