her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize