.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just had sex on a roof
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
