Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I will be naked everywhere
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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