lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
