The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize