STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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