I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
