I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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