I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
