I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
