Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
