So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
