totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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