doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
