i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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