whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
