I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
