Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So vagazzling was a success
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
