is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
