yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And then my night got REAL pukey
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
