it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
There are leaves in my underwear?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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