my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
