do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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