Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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