They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
