ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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