But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
