Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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