I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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