This dress was meant to end up on your floor
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
