Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
