Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
