the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dicks are not precious.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
