I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
