Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
