Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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