Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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