I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
