I wish i was in the wii world.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
