A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
