Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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