And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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