there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I deserve this hangover.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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