Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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