...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
