K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
