He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
