does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
