I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think people are normalizing furries
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize