U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
