did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize