I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
