I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
