We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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