I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
it glows. i had to have it.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
