Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
