I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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