so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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