What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
