M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize