I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
