I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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