would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I came so hard my ears popped.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.â€
Randomize
